Did you know that second marriages end at a higher rate than first marriages?  What does that mean?  It means blending two families is HARD!  No one can anticipate the stresses that come with being a step-parent.  Someone you don't even know, an ex-wife or ex-husband,  can change your day just by picking up the phone.  It is incredibly frustrating to have someone not in your immediate family have the ability to wreak havoc on yours. 

There are 66 different types of blended families. In my years of counseling, I have never dealt with two that are alike.  But, there are some similar themes.  When I was a new step-mother, I found that traditional marriage counselors couldn't relate to the unique set of circumstances I was facing.  I felt a tremendous amount of guilt and frustration on a daily basis.  So while there are many groups and books that offer help for blended families, I think 'living it' gives you the best insight. 

Many years after I became a step parent, I came across a great resource.  Ron Deal is the author of "The Smart Stepmom" and "The Smart Stepdad".  He shares very good insights that gave me great encouragement.  If you're struggling as a step-parent, it's a great place to start. 

I would love to help you if you are in the trenches of blending a family.  We can break down the very specific issues you are facing and find some practical solutions that may help.